(continued from the previous blog)
If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger & return.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Now the question is: can we make good use of the energy of anger and transform its destructive movements?
Here I offer a few ways I’ve found useful with my clients, friends, family and myself.
First, 100% unconditional acceptance. This is the most important and most difficult step. In order to fetch the gold, you have to go into the blazing fire, with open eyes, fully conscious, fully sane, and courageous beyond what you think you could ever be. Think of anger as Beast, and you are the beautiful Belle. How can you get to the “happily ever after” if you don’t accept Beast, and see the handsome prince in him?
In the words of J. Krishnamurti:” Don’t be afraid of discontent, but give it nourishment until the spark becomes a flame, and you are everlastingly discontented with everything – with your jobs, with your families, with the traditional pursuit of money, position, power – so that you really begin to think, to discover. … … you see, without this flame of discontent you will never have the initiative which is the beginning of creativeness.”
If you can enter (accept) the blazing fire, with open eyes, and watch it burn, you will see amazing things: e.g. hidden wounds, shame, guilt, regret… revealed and transformed.
At this time, you can go into the second stage: creative breakthroughs. Once the fire is ignited while you stay conscious and watchful, you will most likely be lead to focus on an area that you have good reason to be angry about. If not, you can choose an area of your life or work that requires solution. Stay on the topic, and let energy lead you. You will find ways that you never knew existed. Your “angry” creative outburst will find ways or make ways.
Third stage: since angry outbursts, due to its inherent intensity, cannot be sustained by the body for a long time, it will subside naturally. Once all the fuel and trash were all burned up, take a look at the whole trip. Appreciate it, and give thanks (even if you feel you have a few more trips to make ). Wasn’t that fantastic? Look at the gold you’ve retrieved, or distilled. You’ve made it. You’ve been through the fire, and got your treasure. Or, if you prefer, you are now with the handsome prince who was once an ugly yucky beast. Time for some celebration!
Oh, by the way, don’t you just feel better? Like your body just had a good stretch. Doesn’t your breath flow deeper and wider, and taste more delish?
You may not be able to distinguish all the three stages of anger. It doesn’t matter. I’ve had clients, all they needed to hear was that it’s OK to feel anger. That’s all they needed in order to “live happily ever after.” They left, and reported improved energy level, better communication, joy …
In short, everyone has their own unique situation, and therefore their own best strategies with regard to this beast. So I’m not going to prescribe any rigid “steps” here. I use different techniques with different clients. Deep in your heart, in that unshakable stillness, you know what to do, and once you’ve accepted your own beast, fully, completely, with open eyes, clarity will emerge.
One last word of caution: the best time to go through this process is when the moon is full. This is especially so when you feel there is a lot of anger/creativity to come out.
So here’s to your “happily ever after” life. Let me know how things go.
Before I sign off, here’s a quote I like about our topic:
“What is important is to be wholly discontented, for such total discontent is the beginning of the initiative which becomes creative as it matures; and that is the only way to find out what is truth, what is God, because the creative state is God.” ~ J. Krishnamurti
Peace & Creativity to you all,